That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
