Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
