Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Boobs speak an international language.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
There's a naked man in my car right now.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
