remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
