any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
