I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
