bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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