her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
