I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i think i have herpe
just one?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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