just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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