had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
