You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
