your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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