so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
