question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize