I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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