i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
