Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
