This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
