1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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