So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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