Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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