I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
