Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
