The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
