No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize