the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
