Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
