More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
