Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
