I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
