I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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