i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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