you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
