I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I bet he comes in French.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
