also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize