suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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