I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Everclear isn't food dammit
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
