I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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