I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
