just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
