Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
tell me about the eggs
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
