First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
