I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
