The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
