are you still at the devil's house?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
