dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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