OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
