very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
