VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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