White coat. Heels.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
we made out on top of his cat.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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