I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
