I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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