So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
