I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
