No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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