is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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