i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
