The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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