I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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