Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
