no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
