cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She's like a pop up book from hell.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I have post one night stand depression
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